Big bad wolf...

Ya has continued to suffer from a lingering coughing and so our follow-up and well baby turned into a sick baby visit. We arrived on time and assumed our position on the "sick baby" side of the pediatricians office (even though he is just now 5 months old and young babies his age go to the well baby side as a precaution). Dr. L, who likes little Ya, saw us and thought he was coming for the well baby. He looks healthy enough, of course.
Instead, though, he read through the nurses comments then made me repeat my concerns and issues. I listed them:

he wakes up multiple times each night with coughing fits
he wheezes after eating and sometimes coughs up his meal
the inhaler creates more coughing
the coughing has lessened, but only if we never leave the house
the daycare says he coughed up his meal and - as a bonus - phlegm
though he is smiling and active, he's just not being the Ya that we'd gotten so fond of

We took a test for RSV, which thankfully returned negative. As Ya tore up the paper on the examination table, I was told that "He's active and alert that's a good sign."

Then came the family history questions... yes, we answer them as new patients, but the docs always seem to want you to verbalize every health issue you've been plagued with. With the yes response to "Asthma or allergies in the family," Dr. L prescribed an in house breathing treatment of something called Zopanex because "he is quite wheezy." The hope here was to lessen the distress he heard in Ya's lungs. For 10 minutes I fought with Ya trying to get a cup (the most sanitary method of masking a child) over his nose and mouth so that the misted meds could get into his system.
And now we've added a personal nebulizer to Ya's medical arsenal. It's called a "Huffenpuff" and it came with stickers so he can decorate it when he's older.

Poor Chi blames herself for the most recent series of doctor's visits. She said "I'm the worst big sister ever." I'm trying to alleviate her guilt. We are all dealing with colds and no one knows who got it first. Ya's just little, so it is worse for him. It's something I must've said that makes her fault herself.

Days 25...28 (second shot)...29

Somewhat late to post, but I'm on track so far :) Sometimes it's hard to ensure that I get the camera out. I get wrapped up in my family and lose track of time. Then it's midnight and I've missed the day! Add to it that I've noticed my camera is off by a few hours and the dates are sometimes skewed as a result. YUCKY.

Project 365

1.25.09:1.28.09:1.29.09:

Today was particularly interesting for Ya. Daddy brought home some baby food veggies and Ya tried bananas. He ate the entire container in one sitting! No yuck faces like big sister Chi who detests the taste (and smell) of bananas. Nope. My Chub Chub kicked his legs in anticipation of each spoon full and sometimes his crazy little hands successfully grabbed the spoon and sped up Mommy's attempts at mess free feeding. Now mind you, today's feeding included a super sized serving spoon that Chi got for us when Mommy asked for help with baby brother. It worked, but it sure was hard to keep Ya from trying to fit the whole thing in his mouth.

5 Months....

Mommy's little man is getting old! Today mark 5 full months of life outside the liquid bubble.

He adores his big sister.
He's survived his first real cold.
He's babbling up a storm.
Taking on the code name "arms strong," he's pulling anything he can into the open mouth.
He's seen his first snow (although it was only as we raced out of the daycare, into the car, out of the car, and into the house).
He's shown us his moods - and there are many.
He's picked a favorite toy.
He propels himself into a sitting position if seated partially reclining on pillows.
He loves to stand (assisted) and bounce.
He's able to lift his torso off the ground during tummy time (but just can't get the legs to cooperate with forward movements).
He's loving mashed potatoes, tomato based soups, and rice cereal (but only if it's made with breast milk).He's "eaten" his first McD's cheeseburger.

Project 365

1:27:09 Ahhh!1:28:09 My favorite

SNOW!!!!

Mother Nature, Jack Frost and all those mythical weather folk finally gave us a good snow out here in mild weathered NoVA. Too bad the schools were closed for a teacher workday and the only ones who had to travel in the slushy mess were the teachers! I guess a few dozen injured staff members are easily spared? So much for answered prayers for a snow day... One colleague admitted she ran a poor fellow off the road on her way in to the school this morning! By 8:45 a.m the day care Chi attends had decided to close and Ya's daycare closed down at noon. And for once, the folk here weren't panicking for no reason - the roads really are bad. It's supposed to sleet and ice tonight.

After coordinating pick ups in opposite directions, all four of us were safe indoors. We dined on delivered Chinese viddels - - yum, yum, yummy.

Chi and I left the Marqs to entertain each other while we held our traditional annual snow ball fight outside.

We also geared up the 'Hounds for some much need outdoor frolicking. Aren't they snazzy in their customized, personalized hoodies?
And we built a "little person" snowman in our front yard. My only hope is that the neighbor hoods don't steal the hat and gloves.

Tomorrow's forecast calls for ice, so maybe we'll get a delay?

Not Me Monday

It's been a few weeks since I've taken advantage of the free therapy confession session that is Not Me Monday, but it's fine time I unloaded a bit of myself onto the blog :)

This past week I did not cry from sheer frustration/helplessness/pity when Ya came down with a terrible cough stemming from an elementary school germ bug his sister carried home.

The entire household is not sick from said germ bug which has passed from hugs, kisses, and food sharing that is so common around here. I did not ban said familial affection until the germ dies, and then immediately sneak snuggles and share food with both kids because I'm the Mommy and that's what I do.

I did not spend an entire day on the computer playing catch up with my favorite photographer's blogs when the internet and cable came back on after a week suspension.

I did not race over to do my taxes as soon as the last W-2 arrived in the mail having decided that Uncle Sam could now pay me so I could pay everyone else. I did not do a happy dance when I saw that I got an extra deduction for Ya courtesy of the stimulus incentive that was issued when we were just 4-5 months along in our pregnancy.

I did not accidentally discover that Ya loves pasta faggioli and hamburgers when his eyes widdened and a chubby hand reached for the food/utensil and drew it towards a wide open, toothless mouth. I did not decide then that since the pediatrician okay'd vegetables, this was an appropriate segway into eating solids, too. I did not take great humor in watching him tear apart my burger and cram bits of it in his mouth then "chew" it up. He did not cry each time a serving went into my mouth instead of his.

I did not go to work only one day out of the whole week and come home exhausted from the long week's work after complaining all day to anyone who would listen about how miserable my son was and how I desperately wanted to be at home.

I did not spend an entire Sunday watching the We channel and torturing everyone in the house with Rich Bride, Poor Bride, Platinum Weddings and some other wedding rescue show. I did not wake up at 2:30 a.m. and find that the same episode I fell asleep on was on again and playing just for me to watch the end.

I did not ask Chi to make a choice between reading and doing her hair last night - two tasks she has grown to hate. I did not take great surprise and then feel terrible when she chose her hair and not a book. I did not wonder how on earth she could ever catch up her skills if the thought of reading was so daunting/scary/frustrating to her.

I did not chuckle out loud when Chi said that in reading class they read "Dan the Flying Man again" and then proceeded to recite the entire book while flipping the air pages with her hand. I did not make a note that this would be discussed at my Double Team conference on Tuesday with the reading specialist and the first grade teacher. If she's bored and memorizing an entire book, we'll never catch up or get ahead. I did not also realize how appropriate the book was to the situation (picture a new take on the Gingerbread Man; which I took to be the reluctant reader flying into her imagination instead of practicing her cueing systems). Surely there are other books to try?

Frequent Visitor

They're going to reserve a spot for Yadon and I at the pediatrician. I'm convinced of this, as we've been frequent visitors since his birth 5 months ago.

Most of the appointments were in the weeks following his birth. As our neonatal/amniocentesis tests predicted, he suffered from low birth weight. And within days of birth he was jaundice. But the other screening issues - Trisomy 18, oral clefting, and neural tube or spina bifida defects - were no where to be found.

He quickly gained weight, the jaundice gave way beautiful brown skin and bright white eyes, and his pediatrician pronounced him healthy.

Then constant discomfort (and crying) and vomiting after meals led to a panicked trip to the doctors at 7 weeks. Diagnosis: Acid Reflux.

Following a well baby check up at two months old was a bout with thrush which refused to go away.

Then we enjoyed watching Ya learn, disover, and explore himself and his world. But for three weeks straight now we're seeing the pediatrician.

Visit one: The rough skin and super dry patches? Diagnosis: Eczema. Okay, Chi grew out of that around two years old, so it's easily countered with extra care, skin creams, and hypoallergenic detergents and lotions.

Visit Two: The increasingly worse cough, weezing and sniffling, is not a cold. Relegated to the "Sick side" waiting area for the first time was the first blow. Then came the diagnosis: Asthma and a bronchial infection which could be RSV.

When Ya discovered the power of his smile a few weeks ago, he realized how endearing it was and he relished in the attention. He's not let one day (actually, one hour) go by without flashing those gums and showing his dimples. Until this past week. Do you know what it's like to not see a smile for several days?

And the cough. A long, torturous series of coughs and gasps followed by a mournful moan, and often tears. He fights for relief which seems not to come. He is miserable. And Mommy? Helpless.

We've kept him out of daycare for the last week battling fevers, the coughing, a runny nose, and watery eyes. Sometimes we think he's better - the smiles return, the playfulness. Then more coughs, tears, and obvious discomfort suggests he is still sick.

Visit Three: a scheduled well-baby with immunizations planned that will now include a sick baby follow-up.

25 Random Things

A friend on Facebook tagged me, so for once I actually sat down and replied.

1. My absolutely favorite thing to do is... I don't know... it depends on my mood.

2. I play the Sims - any of them: I,II,III, Urbz - for hours at a time. And Chi loves to watch me. I might be addicted, but I don't know.

3. I have a 9 foot wall of scrapbooking supplies just waiting for me to stop buying and start creating.

4. At last count, I have 4 SLR camera bodies, 4 digital 35mms, and a few other weird film cameras that never see the outside of their boxes... and yet I really want to upgrade my Digital SLR collection one more time.

5. I like to indulge myself whenever possible. This usually means I buy what I want when I want without consulting my bank account and suffer for it later.

6. I've never really had a best friend, except my mother, whom I absolutely adore and would not trade off for anyone else.

7. My favorite color used to be aqua blue... but these days I LOVE LOVE LOVE orange in every shade.

8. I planned my wedding in sociology class in 12th grade... I haven't diverged from that dream plan in all these years, and I'm still not married. Perhaps I'll just have a ceremony for me and my kids :)

9. I'm obsessed with photography (see #4) and am rarely without my camera at events or on weekend travels. I've been accused of sleeping with a camera or having it surgically attached to my head...

10. I'm under 5 foot tall, but I have a superiority complex that makes me feel much larger... then I stand near other people and have to shout commands at them while craning my neck toward the sky.

11. Most people who know me really know nothing about me and yet I am an open book on my blog (an extension from column writing days of yesteryear.) I love reading the comments people write and I could spend days reading other people's blogs.

12. I like to be in pictures, but have yet to find a photographer who makes sure 100% of the time that the following happens: double chin is not showing, excess anything is hidden, smile is present but nose still looks unflared, clothes are unwrinkled and necklace fasteners face the back. Perhaps I'm just too hard to shoot? Or maybe my vision of what I look like is different than what the camera records.

13. I'm wearing braces at 29 years old to fix one crooked tooth that the whole maternal side of the family has... and the braces messed up the teeth I was okay with to fix the one terrible tooth... wow, vanity.

14. I have thousands of photos from every month of my children's lives and hope they'll enjoy seeing themselves as precious, beautiful, and loved as I do every day they have lived. I also hope they'll forgive my paparazzo tendencies or at least accept the journalist in me as alive and well.

15. I cannot wait to take a few more portraiture classes just for me. Being in the darkroom was serene and comforting. Being an artist was enriching and pleasurable. Pursuing my interests and building my talent is always a treat.

16. I type with one finger. Surprisingly, I type fast. I memorized the keyboard and am addicted to my computer and the internet. I can type with a bouncing baby in one arm.

17. Some of my favorite moments as an adult have come as a Mommy... I cherish all things about my babies - their smiles, their voices, their eccentricities, even their tendencies to demonstrate their independence and "show out" at the most inopportune times.

18. The only times I've ever received flowers were after giving birth and as a thank you from students. I've never gotten them "just because I love you." And once, I got one flower from a bouquet intended for me on Valentines Day because of a miscommunication fight. The rest were held hostage.

19. I collect things - anything - and can never have just one of anything I like.

20. I cannot read a magazine, book, or newspaper that has been folded, creased, or slightly soiled before I got it. This includes library books, used textbooks, and those available in stores (even if the last copy). I've always hated annotating a book and feel weird requiring my students to do so... but keeping a reading journal is perfectly fine.

21. I've never been to Disney World. I desperately want to go. And the kids can join me if they'd like...

22. I'm glad my friends are all having babies now and our kids can hang out. After all, I've screened these kids' parents already:) After kids it's rare to have adult time without feeling guilty.

23. I don't like newborn babies. They're hard to figure out. I love when they get to the interactive stages and we can play.

24. I'm a hypochondriac - describe an illness and I'll either have symptoms or diagnose someone I know with it. This is why I quite taking psychology classes. I also freak out about the sight of blood on myself or my kids... but on someone else? No worries.

25. I have a strong dislike of all things chocolate - the taste, and the smell are nauseating. I also avoid peanut butter and caramel. I have a weak sweet tooth and rarely eat a whole donut, a bag of candy, or anything else with high sugar.

Project

1.21.09: the new meds1.22.09: misery1.23.09: dred it1.24.09:vacation souvenir

Project 365... or 364...

Jan 16 - Where's Ya?Jan 17 - Sweater WeatherJan 18 -Jan 19 - Game onJan. 20, 2009: Inauguration...
We left the kiddos at Gram's to venture the the Capital City for Obama's swearing in. Some parents braved the bitter cold with their infants and young children to be a part of the day in person - to witness the change in America - to show their babies that all of us can be anything we dedicate ourselves to becoming. The travel required special Inaugral Day tickets on Metro, a two-hour train ride with people being told "we're at capacity" at every stop and being blocked from entering, and a long march toward the Washington Monument as every path to the Capitol grounds was full and blocked off. Snipers lined the buildings - a visible show of weaponry meant to keep us safe. People sat in trees, on top of the now-infamous portable potties (gross, no toilet paper, absolutely nauseating to use though 100% necessary), and stood in the buildings lining the National Mall for a glimpse of the proceedings.The people, despite being pressed forward by throngs of visitors, were surprisingly united and peaceful. And the Mall was silent through the swearing in until cheers, power punches, and sobbing exploded as Obama spoke to those gathered.

Aside from being trapped in the city when Metro shut down after the ceremony (and no police were able to help us escape DC), my experience was an exciting and pleasant (albeit cold) day.

That's history!

365... project continues!

So I've stolen away to my parent's home to update the project.
1-12-09: I'm practicing with black backdrops (a tee shirt)

My Feet!1.13.09: What?!1.14.09: Chi's Choice1.15.09:I spent a few hours last night working on PhotoShop flipping horizontal to vertical and color correcting photos. It seems that even with my "Puffer" flash deflector, the indoor flash photos go askew...

And I've decided that I will spare the family every once in awhile by shooting the stuff around the house instead of the people I love... but only occasionally ::winks::

And I blew it! There is no photo for 1.16.09 because my little ones went to bed early and I lost track of time working on the old shots. How's that for resolve? But I am determined to keep going even if the project is now 364 (hey , there's no leap year day this yea, so technically I'm still on target, right?)

A week without

Have you ever had something wonderful and didn't realize it until it was gone? Call me a technoholic (not to make light of addictions) because I'm suffering from withdrawal. My fios is no longer operational. The rainbow of light flickered out Wednesday and doesn't want to come back on.

I cannot get online. No e-mail. No Facebook. No Instant Messenger services. Nada.

The powers at work have blocked every site I enjoy on my procrastination rituals across the blog world. Apparently blogging and reading blogs slows down productivity? Never! Alas, there is no relief during the weekday...

And now? A 4-day weekend without my internet services! How'd it happen?

Can I make it without finding out what's happening with all my cyber buddies - you know, the ones who don't know you but share their daily lives with you online? I feel so **lost** without knowing what's going on in places I've never been. And I miss seeing all the photos of my favorite photographers who diligently feed my curiousity with their fabulous work product online.

To cope I am borrowing monopolizing the computer at my parents' house. And for the rest of weekend? I'll be suffering (or maybe it's the family who'll suffer as my camera is fully charged and ready to shoot).

Until next time cyberspace!

I'll be anxiously awaiting reconnection...

Spanish Lessons by Chi

1-11-09 Rachelle is wondering what a "telleffenohpp" is... Does that even resemble a telefono? Chi is learning Spanish (yikes!)

-13-09 Rachelle was just notified she has a lumpahda in her room... That's a lamp, ya'll.

to be continued...

Project 365

So far, so good with my resolution to capture and save 365 images from 2009!

The conversationalist - The protective big sister -The eye examiner -

Precious Moments

(our sleepover1.9.09)

I'm always very amazed by just how grown up my baby girl has become. It happened without my knowledge, and certainly without my control.
(If I had any at all, she'd still be my little girl, my dependent yet self-sufficient little one who needed Mommy and enjoyed being right underneath me everyday regardless of what I was doing; but alas, she's just a blink of an eye away from teenager!).Here is my sweet Chi volunteering to change a diaper. And here, her whispering the following "Don't cry my little Marques, I'll always be here for you, except tomorrow, when I'm at school. But I'll be here after."
Does it get any better than this? Oh yeah, it does... because here is Ya's usual reaction to seeing his big sister enter a room, acknowledge him, or simply speaking where he can hear her:
It is a reaction all for her and no one else gets as consistent a response.

The Longest Week

After a carefree and fun two weeks of family time, it's hard to get the bearings together and get into the school and work routine again.

Yadon seems the most okay with the return to daycare, having settled quickly into the sleepy commute in the wee hours of the morning. He seems content to be back in the bright nursery lights at 7 a.m. In the midday, when I pick him up, he is usually napping happily and wakes only after we've picked up Sissy and are comfortably at home. And now that he's older, he seems to reserve his biggest activity bursts for Daddy and Mommy in the evenings, where suddenly we are greeted with smiles and squeals and baby chatter.

Chi (aka Sissy) is a little less eager to be back in the weekday groove. Yes, she loves school (even if for her it is merely a social exercise and not a learning workshop). She enjoys being amongst kids her age and is typically in a pleasant mood (albeit starving) when I pick her up.
Unfortunately, though, she wants to stay up late. She no longer happily agrees to do her homework assignments. And she often returns to the cocoon that is her bed within minutes of Mommy waking her up and leaving to tend to baby or preparing for work. Frequently she passes out on the couch in the room adjacent to the kitchen where she has mastered turning on the Fios TV system (which has proven too difficult to understand in her room).

And then there's Mommy. Mommy is tired. Mommy wishes she could skip the J-O-B and do anything else instead. Isn't there someone out there who can cover the bills while Mommy takes pictures, scrap books, or creates something she'd enjoy? Mommy needs to stop talking in third person.

This week I have dragged myself out of bed reluctantly at 5 a.m. to let out the already howling dogs that the neighbors say have disturbed the "repose of the neighborhood" (though what they are referring to is beyond me as we have constant construction noise all around us - perhaps if the dogs ran chain saws or power nail guns or drove trucks around, the noise would be accepted?). I spend a little too much time on the computer, browsing blogs (a brief diversion unavailable at work), playing Mob Wars or Possum Tossum, or perusing e-mails (I still have 100+ unread!). Then it's dress myself, feed baby, dress baby, change clothes when baby throws up, and force procrastinating Chi to get up. At some point I try to eat something, occasionally making a cup of coffee or tea that invariably ends up sitting on the counter getting cold (and moldy if I forget it's there for a day or so). I pull my hair back and may dab on some eyeshadow. I gather up the daycare diaper bag, medications, coats, backpack and my work supplies and try to make it out the door before 6:30. I've been successful a half dozen times.

I spent a good time yesterday looking over a series of workshops I'd like to take in photography. They are "weekend warrior" programs averaging about $200 each and are great portfolio builders. Oh, to be able to splurge on something. Perhaps someday I'll get to take them. Until then, though, I am suffering through the longest week of the school year thus far.

Project 365

unwed

There is a good reason why God said people should be married before they have kids. It not only solidifies the parents' relationship into a God blessed union, it ensures a whole host of secular benefits too. Like making it harder to run away when things are hard - over over petty arguments, misunderstandings or disagreements.

Call me crazy, but that big fancy ceremony with the white princess dress, the crisp tux, and the exchanging of rings is more than a symbol of eternal commitment. It's a public promise that you wont give up (possibly because a divorce is evidence of failure, and no one likes to fail, right?) Maybe that's why I've never been offered a ring? Never been promised forever? I must be too complicated.

Anyway... I am rambling.

I am also right now very much alone.

I'm used to being a single parent. I've been raising my baby girl alone for 6 years now. I might go so far as to say I'm pretty good at managing the household by myself. No consultations, no compromises, just a what I say goes kind of parenting that suits my Leo personality quite well. This doesn't mean that I am proud of the fact that my daughter has no more than a phone relationship with her father. I'm not suggesting that having seen him only three times in the last six years - the last time at three years old and remembered only in pictures - is ideal. What I'm saying is I can handle being Mommy and Daddy if that's what I have to do.

So, God, if this is what I am destined to do for the second time around, bring it on. I'll figure it out with two just like I did with one.

Gets it from his mama?

My baby is a Mama's Boy... I don't mean the effeminate, pushover type of young man, either. What I mean is that my MB is showing a clear resemblance to my personality. He came into the world a little tiny 6lb 1.9 oz munchkin with powerfully strong lungs that announced his birth in an unprompted roar. It was as though he said "Take notice, world, I am here."

That was four months ago and he's just as loud, just as demanding. Except now he weighs a hearty 15 lbs and is no longer tiny by anyone's standards. The latest landmark in his development is the discovery of his true vocal cords. Gone are the gentle coos of the last few weeks. In their place are a series of jungle screams and squeals reminiscent of George of the Jungle (ahahahahaaaaahhhuuuhaha). Other times he demonstrates his range ah la the early Mariah Carey (see her song "Someday"). And sometimes (like when Daddy is sleeping and Mommy is holding Ya superman style in the air and encouraging the vocal exercises) the little vocal powerhouse belts out an ear piercing cry of excitement. Mommy, of course, has encouraged this exploration of sound and sometimes belts out her own echo to see where the exchange will go.

And suddenly the smiles that were so sparse before come un-coaxed as well as in reaction to a friendly smile from another. As if to show his Mama just how much he likes her, MB has even surrendered to the one-eyed monster with the flashy thingy! It helps that he's strong enough to sit up against pillows but too little to run away(like Chi). This has made for better images for Mommy of her ultra cute boy in her impromptu daily photo sessions in clothe drapped "studio" spaces around the house. Once upon a time, Mommy could do this with her Chi, but these days the little diva needs to be bribed or put into the mood to pose. I chased that little looney around OmaNPopPop's backyard for an hour on Christmas to get one portrait of my beautiful baby BIG girl. (The one to the right isn't it...)

Just today Ya sat perfectly content on my lap watching me type as he squealed away. Earlier, he sat on the bed trying to coax a toy into his mouth (teething already? Yucky drool man). He favors his left hand right now, but babies are ambidextrous, I think.

Anyway, Mommy's Boy is amazing (and he has the bestest bis sister in the world who will tell you just how incredible he is!). He, like she, must get it from his Mama ::modest winks::

Project 365
010409: Roller Break