Not I

After last week's hiatus from Not Me'ing (yes, it's a verb now), you'd think I'd be roaring to go... but it's 1:28 a.m. and I'm sitting in my room wide awake and excited about today being a much needed, much anticipated SNOW DAY. And the Not Me's? I'm having a bit of memory lapse thinking of the things I did not do this week. Hmmm....

I did not discover that my very important, favorite Christmas gift is very broken. I just new it was safely guarded from damage (until it fell of my bed in between photo shoots). And of course, I have not been trying to find a reasonably priced comparison to replace my lense because I am totally not addicted to the fabulous picture taking results it produces. I am also not using the broken lense by holding it pressed against the camera body as I shoot... because, again, I am not addicted to the awesome images it helps me create.

I am not wondering how I didn't realize how much I missed sharing my bed with my precious little girl. I think hearing the combined snores of two children beside me is absolutely lovely, though I would never tell those anti-co-sleeping folk I know how much I love it.

I am not absolutely giddy about today's snow day. I have been blessed with a great job and should want to be there all the time, right?

I have not turned on Michaels in favor of the new and improved Joanne's Crafts. The latter has the entire line of K & Company stickers and a new line by Crayola that is "Wild"ly addictive (and conveniently matches Ya's room decor). I did not cave and go to the store under the guise of spending a 40 percent off coupon and come out of the store with $50 worth of stickers and page bling for my terribly behind scrap books.

I do not visit random stores with Ya becuase I relish in the "He's sooooo cute" comments that he always gets. I am not thoroughly enjoying that people think he looks like me and therefore every compliment is indirectly testifying to my own good looks (right?). And Ya's super huge, gummy smile does not attract folk to him like bears to honey or flies to poop (eww, did I just say that? What a terrible simile).

I have not increased tummy and sit up time with Ya in anticipation of a photo shoot with the fabulous Lisa Julia because his willingness to hold these positions will produce cuter images. I am not obsessed with photographs. Not me!

I am not blaming every slower-than-anticipated milestone Ya reaches on his 3-week-early arrival or his being male. All good things take time, right? And those silly charts are just estimations...

I am not totally in awe of God's power to protect and keep us. This past week has seen the miracle birth of little Samuel (God hears and answers prayers, doesn't he?). This charming little man couldn't wait to make his grand entrance in the world, so he arrived 10 weeks before he was supposed to. And as we pray about his health, he thrives!

Not Me Monday

I did not get so thoroughly engrossed in writing drafting a blog entry in my bathroom pumping station that I forgot I was pumping and leaked the liquid gold as the bottle overflowed. Really, I use that time to think about the important task at hand...

I did not have a craving for McD's plain ice cream Sunday, Taco Bell chalupas and McD's French fries at the same time. In 37 weeks of pregnancy I had not one weird food combination desire. But now that Ya's here? I am a culinary mixing freak.

I did not have the following conversation over a certain Christmas present:
M: Look at that. You threw your coat in the recycling bin.
Me: Not on purpose. That's just where it landed.
M: Wow. Next I'll see it in the trash or ripped.
Me: (smiling) I'm better with jewelry.
M: (silence)

I did not thoroughly enjoy testing out my amazing make up artist techniques on Chi who then transformed into an Egyptian/East Indian goddess. And Chi for one two brief hours allowed me to snap pictures to my heart's content while she danced and spun and acted her part. Oh how I miss it being Mommy and Chi play time!
I did not subject Ya to multiple tummy time positioning to test my "it's a fluke" theory about his ability to roll over. You'd think that after the first two roll overs Mommy'd get the point that he didn't want to lay on his tummy, right?

I am not still amazed at how well Chi has mastered the monkey bars. My own little monkey? Yep, the little gymnast is quite good at swinging, jumping, and flying like those cute zoo creatures. Maybe it's because I spent so long working on a photodocumentary at the Oakland Zoo while I was pregnant? That's got to be it, I'll credit blame OZ for her talents.
I did not decide to show off my photojournalistic dedication by laying under playground equipment to shoot a picture of Chi with the beautiful sky as the background. I did not then discover that in my old age, it was a lot easier to get on the ground than it was to get off it.

Never I

A warm weather shot at the park from this weekend:

And now,

Welcome to the opposite game of therapy and confession that MckMama hosts every week! It's free, it's easy, it's a release...

I did not decide that after only two hours of time sans baby, beginning the work/school/daycare week was looking pretty appealing. I love spending time with my kids and I enjoy the opportunity to dedicate my time to their pleasures. What kind of mother would relish in the brief break of daycare?

I did not get my taxes and then spend hours plotting how to pay the bills while still splurging a bit for Chi and I. Afterall, we've not been living the frugal life for months in order to pay down my debt. It's amazing how a little restraint makes you so darn eager to spend frivolously!

I did not spend a half hour trying to pick out the perfect Valentine's Day cards for my family members. I do, of course, have a wall full of card stock and a closet full of themed stamps for that very purpose. I also always have my hands free, my creativity on point, and my motivation at a super sonic high.

I did not decide that the whole Groundhog Day ritual was hogwash when the temperatures hit near 60s and we had to take off coats or risk sweating to death outside. I did not strip my kids down and hit up the park for the third time in this past week so they could play and I could photograph them without complaints.

I did not discover that Ya's taste buds are on hyper sensitivity when I fed him what I was eating all weekend. He did not gobble down carrots, peas, noodles, and grapes like a toothy pro despite having only gums in his drooly mouth. I did not get a kick out of watching him push his bottle away in favor of the fork full of food I was eating. And of course, I was not determined to keep my food all to myself because it was good and he'd already eaten.

I did not discover that Ya has made his parental preference and savor the fact that it is Mommy he chose. It's important for kids to have quality relationships with both parents, right?

I did not surprise myself and my family by agreeing without reservations to let Chi attend a sleepover with her friend. I've screened the family, I trust them with her, and Chi tells me everything. And so it's okay to let her enter the world of girlie rituals with a Slumber Party.

I did not discover that though all things blogging, social, fun are blocked at work, I could still attach my Not Me's to "Mr. Linky" on MckMama's page because she has a dot net base page. I do not sometimes read the cover page of the blog that way despite the savory pictures being Xd out because photo servers are also blocked.

Not Me Monday

I did not determine that the only way to be one of the first posters on MckMama's Mr. Linky was to spend 24-hours a day refreshing her page. I did decide it's just not that serious, and so I am content with being in the hundreds each week. I did not then race to her page and post my name first with a blank blog entry then return to type up what I had been planning in my head... because being in the 200 range is not cool :(

I do not suffer from serious blog envy when I surf through the many awesome sites people have out there. I do not secretly wonder if people are reading what I say about my kids and my life. I do not spend an unusual amount of time writing and editing my posts to ensure they are "worthy" of a read. I have not decided that every post needs a photo because it just looks better.

I did not throw a snow ball that landed right in my daughter's face. The one and only connect I make almost takes an eye out! How's that for aim?

I did not wish and pray for a snow day today, Monday, so that I didn't have to use more sick time to take Ya to another follow-up for the never ending cold/cough/breathing issues we have been dealing with. I swear I love when my baby is healthy.

I did not rush the kids to church on Friday to ensure that we were amongst those listed in the new directory. Laura was "in" the last one, but you can't see her there because she was in my belly :) We do not have a second photo to take with the extended family to add to the portrait wall in my parent's house. I cannot wait to see the new picture on the wall next to those of my parents, brothers, and I from so many years ago.

I did not get unnecessarily upset at Chi because she was not cooperative at Sears Portrait Studio yesterday. We do not take a new picture every time I go to pick up the prints because the 30 minute drive is not worth it unless we add extra tasks. Of course, each new picture adds a new trip, so it'll never end. But hey, at least one 8x10 is free each time, right?

I am not counting down the days until my Federal Tax Return money comes in so that I can register for a few classes at the Washington Institute of Photography. I am not already planning out my sitters and plotting how I can afford a few new camera accessories and flash set ups. I am not growing increasingly envious of those ubber-talented people out there already professionally working as lifestyle photographers.

I did not take a few minutes to ponder why there is always only one sock on my son's foot. I do not think that the missing sock has just decided to begin his travel early to that pkace the other single socks go when they leave their pairs during the wash cycle.

I was not amused at the "hyperactive" side effects of Huffenpuff on my son. I did not thoroughly enjoy playing airplane with him while he laughed and smiled and showed no signs of the health issues he's been battling lately. I did not wish I could see this side of him when he wasn't high on inhaled albuterol because I know this is his real personality shining through.

I am not more in love with my kids everyday :)

And now for Project 365:

Feb 2, 2009 (again): Trade

Not Me Monday

It's been a few weeks since I've taken advantage of the free therapy confession session that is Not Me Monday, but it's fine time I unloaded a bit of myself onto the blog :)

This past week I did not cry from sheer frustration/helplessness/pity when Ya came down with a terrible cough stemming from an elementary school germ bug his sister carried home.

The entire household is not sick from said germ bug which has passed from hugs, kisses, and food sharing that is so common around here. I did not ban said familial affection until the germ dies, and then immediately sneak snuggles and share food with both kids because I'm the Mommy and that's what I do.

I did not spend an entire day on the computer playing catch up with my favorite photographer's blogs when the internet and cable came back on after a week suspension.

I did not race over to do my taxes as soon as the last W-2 arrived in the mail having decided that Uncle Sam could now pay me so I could pay everyone else. I did not do a happy dance when I saw that I got an extra deduction for Ya courtesy of the stimulus incentive that was issued when we were just 4-5 months along in our pregnancy.

I did not accidentally discover that Ya loves pasta faggioli and hamburgers when his eyes widdened and a chubby hand reached for the food/utensil and drew it towards a wide open, toothless mouth. I did not decide then that since the pediatrician okay'd vegetables, this was an appropriate segway into eating solids, too. I did not take great humor in watching him tear apart my burger and cram bits of it in his mouth then "chew" it up. He did not cry each time a serving went into my mouth instead of his.

I did not go to work only one day out of the whole week and come home exhausted from the long week's work after complaining all day to anyone who would listen about how miserable my son was and how I desperately wanted to be at home.

I did not spend an entire Sunday watching the We channel and torturing everyone in the house with Rich Bride, Poor Bride, Platinum Weddings and some other wedding rescue show. I did not wake up at 2:30 a.m. and find that the same episode I fell asleep on was on again and playing just for me to watch the end.

I did not ask Chi to make a choice between reading and doing her hair last night - two tasks she has grown to hate. I did not take great surprise and then feel terrible when she chose her hair and not a book. I did not wonder how on earth she could ever catch up her skills if the thought of reading was so daunting/scary/frustrating to her.

I did not chuckle out loud when Chi said that in reading class they read "Dan the Flying Man again" and then proceeded to recite the entire book while flipping the air pages with her hand. I did not make a note that this would be discussed at my Double Team conference on Tuesday with the reading specialist and the first grade teacher. If she's bored and memorizing an entire book, we'll never catch up or get ahead. I did not also realize how appropriate the book was to the situation (picture a new take on the Gingerbread Man; which I took to be the reluctant reader flying into her imagination instead of practicing her cueing systems). Surely there are other books to try?

Never I

The true confessions not guilty admissions of a working Mama are here again!

Here are the many things I did not do:

I did not refuse to acknowledge the clock for the last 16 days doing things on demand or as I remembered them needing to be done without care for a schedule. After all, playing around with medication schedules and feedings and bedtime can ruin a carefully established routine, can't it?

I did not so enjoy being a stay at home mom that I wished to win some prize that would allow me to do it permanently while still collecting a sustaining pay check.

I did not go to a Bridal Expo and then pout about not being a "Very Important Bride" like all the other women in the room. I did not then create a rating scale of each as I stared in awe at the "lucky ones" with the rings who must have a lot of hidden beauty. I am not so vain as to believe that I am a better catch than some of those sporting the bling.

I did not almost flub up on my Project 365 resolution project on Day Two and make up for it with one of the daily pictures of Yadon that I instinctively take each day. I did not spend 30 minutes taking pictures to get one image worthy of Project 365 inclusion. I did not accuse Marq of reneging from the project because I hadn't seen his camera out.

I did not stalk my baby brother with a camera for the last week trying to get at least ONE shot without his hands raised in front of his face in camera shy protest. I did not get told that I should at least let him shower before pulling out the camera. I did not finally get a photo shoot at the risk of further sickening said brother because I wanted to shoot outdoors without him wearing a coat. I did not get this picture because I told him I liked what the magazine said if I framed it right in my camera...

Not Me, Unh unh

I did not begin my vacation with grandiose intentions of catching up on all the little things I let get away from me only to decide by day three that I wanted to vegetate and "stuff" could wait.

I did not pose crazy goofy for Chi to take a picture of me while she instructed me to "lift one leg and smile big". Perhaps if I did, we might see a photo like the one to the left here.

I did not spend 5 plus hours in the car on a family road trip channel surfing and making singing to the oldies (eighties) a family affair.

I did not relish staying at a relatives house for three days only because it wasn't my house and I didn't have to wake up to dogs whining and things needing to be cleaned. I did not determine that every wall in my house needed a paint treatment and that I should invest in some real window coverings. I did not end my vacation asking Marq if maybe we should investigate moving the family south for a bigger yard and better home.

I did not journal about our trip in real time so as not to forget a single moment of our first family trip with Yadon.

I did not see a beautiful antique settee at the front door of our relatives' home and begin to imagine the possibilities of a photo shoot with Chi in a pretty smocked dress and Ya in a simple button down shirt, vest and shorts combo reminiscent of the black and white photos of my Poppy. I did not contemplate getting to stay in said house while the owners were out and about so I could take a few uninterrupted shots of Ya "in the buff" because I didn't have an old fashioned suit for him to wear for the ideal shoot.

I did not wish I had ear plugs when Ya began to scream somewhere at the 100 miles to go marker of our trip. I did not try to will him with my mind to cry it out quick and sleep so we could ride home in peace and he wouldn't get sick from crying.

I did not come home and realize that in our rush to get on the road the bed linen is still not washed and we'd have to sleep on a sheet and plastic slipcovers if we were going to sleep at all. I did not decide that that was okay and promptly pass out.

I did not discover that my new camera lens (thanks Mommy!) is the greatest Christmas present ever while I harassed every one I encountered at once with wide angle group shots, interior house shots, and impromptu sneak shots.

Nope... I didn't do it

As wonderful as it is to release the pent up embarrassing, silly, and oh-no-she-didn't moments I happen upon cause each week, this week seems to have amassed few confessions...

In fact, for once, I had a pretty uneventful week.

I did not reluctantly paw through a large box of goodies for Chi from her dad in California and find myself thinking "wow, this time he did okay." I did not then call and congratulate him for his efforts in making sure she had a winter coat.

I did not fall in love with the styles and talents of two photographers and decide I had to have them both shoot my family. I did not then stagger a series of photo sessions with Ya and Chi so that I could capture both children's appearances throughout the year without going broke. I also did not then follow up today's session with a trip to a department store studio because it is so rare that Chi's hair is freshly twisted and she is willing to pose her little heart out for the camera.

I did not get overly excited when my mother's colleagues unanimously agreed that one of my kids actually looks like me. Afterall, it's always a pleasure to hear how much they resemble their dads (and how I am no more than a warming pod for developing humans).

I did not discover sometime this week while scrolling through the other blogs I follow that it would be extra amazing if I wasn't working two jobs. I did not spend an evening contemplating how luxurious the life of a stay at home mom must be. I did not muse about the ultra clean house I would have and the perfectly put together children I would have if there were more time to dedicate to each.

Nope, not I

This week I thought I'd shoot for dead last on the not me blog role... Because I did not forget today was Monday.

So this week past there's a lot I don't have to confess because I did not do a whole lot.

I did not get so caught up working two jobs and coordinating my world that I forgot to return to the website to book a party for my daughter's 6th birthday party. I did not invite 22 classmates to said unbooked party and then pray that only a few RSVP.

I did not spend more than five hours at the party venue listening to screaming, excited kids on sugar highs - first to ensure a party space and then to watch as my carefully planned party became total chaos. I did not get into a disagreement with the manager of said facility over "reserved" tables that no one had spoken for. Marq did not get recruited to plead our case, and my brother did not get called in to do the same. I did not have to have aforementioned brother round up the kids and hear him say as the party finally concluded, "Next time get me a lasso and a hat, I'll get 'em here."

I did not swear to myself that my party planning days were over. I did not determine that the Deal or No Deal and skeeball games were worth returning to the venue despite the insane lines at the "Kid Check" and the harried parents trailing behind their crazed kids. I also did not join another adult in a dual "That's your last game kid, there's a line and you have to share" attack which shocked a child (had to be at least 10, I'm sure) into hurrying through his sixth consecutive game and rushing away from the area.

I did not reply to my daughter upon her inquiry "Mom what are you getting me for my birthday?" with this: "I got you a very expensive birthday party."

Not I...

I did not begin this list on Tuesday so as not to forget all the things I did not do. I also did not type the entry Sunday so I could post before work Monday.

I did not decide that the new 2 1/2 month old girl in Ya's class would make an excellent girlfriend. I did not get excited about their cribs being next to each other so they could "talk." Later in the week, I did not decide she must reduce her natural cute quotient so Ya could steal away some more attention.

I did not make a perfectly good cup of coffee and put it in a travel mug only to leave it on the table when helping Chi get her lunch together. I did not contemplate going home to retrieve said mug despite being 10 minutes behind schedule and most likely late for work. It was not I who reached for the non-existent mug each time I stopped at a light on the way to work. (Notice the turquoise mug to Chi's far right).

I did not miss seeing my baby put up tree decorations because I was stressing moping about finances. I did not ponder postponing Christmas because I cannot buy gifts for the important people in my life.

I did not finally meet complete understanding of the phrase "Robbing Peter to pay Paul" while juggling my bills. I did not decide that a more appropriate metaphor was playing Russian Roulette with my creditors - - bang you're paid, blank you wait... Is it really that
bad? Not for I.I did not hurry everyone in the house into their winter clothes so we could get the ideal Christmas portrait of the kids for our cards only to determine once we arrived at the community playground that it was way too cold for being outside. We did not get stuck at said playground so that Chi could play for awhile while the rest of us froze. And this was not my "look" upon giving up on my photo op.

While complaining about people prolonging stops at STOP signs, I did not find myself behind the same Dodge Charger that gave me a speeding ticket in October. I did not freak out about the number of unmarked luxury cars in the area and opt to go below the speed limit rather than risk another ticket for driving too fast in a 25 mph zone. I am not still bitter about the ticket I got when my foot was not even on the accelerator as I drove down a hill. I did not spot more than a few police vehicles on the highway poised with their radar guns with their sights surely on my sports car.

I did not contemplate how using two pumps at once would be like milking a cow and determine that lowering efficiency was better than becoming Bessie the Holstein.

Not I...

This week my did not list is pretty short... and sweet. Does this mean I am getting better at not doing things?

I did not dress my daughter in a cute pink leopard hat and glove set and instruct her to play in the fallen autumn leaves instead of raking them up. If I had, these might have been the pictures I'd have gotten:I did not rush home from Thanksgiving dinner with half the ham and all of the mac'n'cheese left over from the festivities. After all, my fridge is stocked and I'm a good sharer.

I did not confuse my daughter's kooky pose in the family portrait for clowning around. As an avid SIMS player, I realized she was mimicking those family shots without her pointing it out. Really I did.

I did not have a hypochondriac moment and freak out about the possibility of contracting Ya's case of thrush during his feedings. I have not given myself a breast exam after every feeding since confirming his condition despite his being on medication and the thrush quickly clearing up. I did not agonize over where the gross white stuff came from in the first place...

I did not tell the pediatrician that we had reached our quota of conditions and illnesses in the last three months and that if another happened to surface within a week of a well-baby appointment we'd be canceling the rest on account of the bad luck they bring.

I did not lug around my scrap supplies three times in the four day weekend and complete not one page in either child's book. As usual, I'm all caught up...

I did not get lectured twice - make that three times - about dressing my son. If I had, it certainly wouldn't be about his winter coat being a size too big (though I didn't buy it), about his wearing socks instead of soft shoes (there's debate about whether they make newborn shoes and why one might need them), or about wearing a onesie in a loud jungle print (that I was immediately smitten with and had to buy).



If you want to join in on the NOT ME revolution, check out the rules...

Not Me

This is a post about what I most certainly did not do in the last few days...

I did not attempt to get this post written 3 times only to leave the handwritten draft at work and lose the second draft in cyberspace with a wayward keystroke. I'm not that pressed to post today.

I did not develop a severe craving for fried chicken and drive to KFC only to leave empty handed grumbling about paying $9.99 for six pieces of chicken.

I did not eat a cold left over cheesy beef burrito between classes at work because my stomach growls were audible above student conversations.

I did not demand that Daddy locate his camera and join the photography obsession so I could be in a picture with my kids for a change (and then demand to preview each picture and delete at my discretion).

I did not relish in my kids going to bed early while house sitting for my parents. I also did not spend the free time the sleep afforded boxing on Wii with Daddy.

I did not slip out of a well-baby appointment after the doctor consult and before being asked to hold Ya as he was poked with needles during the administration of multiple the immunizations. I did not fear he'd hold a grudge and lose trust in his mama (like Chi did) when he realized I allowed the shots and pain to occur and even held him still for themI did not leave Ya the amazing on a couch temporarily only to next see him on the floor crying softly as he propped himself up on his forearms and looked around from the new vantage point.
(I'm far too competent and cautious).

I did not beg Chi to pose in her new hula outfit until I got a perfect picture. If I had, it might have looked like this....

I did not use a $25 gift card to purchase two 8GB SD cards for our cameras in fear of missing the magic photo op for lack of memory.

I did not earn said gift card for spending insane amounts of money with a reward credit card.

I did not tell a coworker about Chi's favorite expression ("What?) and Ya's word ("Okay") only to be told I should rerecord a Little John chorus with my kids' voices on the track.

I did not run a load of laundry with a wayward florescent pink crayon still in Chi's sweatshirt pocket. If I had, I'd be really upset about the pink streaks and smears on several pairs of slacks, shirts, and baby outfits...

I tell you, I did not...

Not me Monday...

I'm gonna test this exercise out...




Here goes:

I did not spend too long watching my son and his father prepare for their days in lieu of grading papers and preparing myself for work. Not me...

I did not decide my son was way too cute in his outfit not to have a photo shoot and pick up the camera for a few shots when I was supposed to be loading the car for work with kids, diaper bags, and the like. Not me...

I did not pack up a healthy lunch for work only to leave it on the counter for the umpteenth time. Not me...

Because I packed a terrific lunch to help me shed my baby fat (and I took it with me), I did not raid the vending machine at work and dine on Doritos while pumping a meal for my son. Not me...

I did not check my bank account 7 or more times today willing the funds inside it to grow. Not me...

I did not scream and holler about losing my wallet (and license) and being unable to find it all weekend only to discover it in my work bag (of all places!). Not me...

I did not peak inside the mailbox to find only bills and then gently slide the box closed with the contents still inside for another day's discovery. Not me...

I did not spend an hour today playing Parking Wars and Mob Wars on Facebook instead of doing more important things like cooking, cleaning, or grading papers. Not me...

Oh, wait a minute... I think I did...