Thursday, January 8, 2009


There is a good reason why God said people should be married before they have kids. It not only solidifies the parents' relationship into a God blessed union, it ensures a whole host of secular benefits too. Like making it harder to run away when things are hard - over over petty arguments, misunderstandings or disagreements.

Call me crazy, but that big fancy ceremony with the white princess dress, the crisp tux, and the exchanging of rings is more than a symbol of eternal commitment. It's a public promise that you wont give up (possibly because a divorce is evidence of failure, and no one likes to fail, right?) Maybe that's why I've never been offered a ring? Never been promised forever? I must be too complicated.

Anyway... I am rambling.

I am also right now very much alone.

I'm used to being a single parent. I've been raising my baby girl alone for 6 years now. I might go so far as to say I'm pretty good at managing the household by myself. No consultations, no compromises, just a what I say goes kind of parenting that suits my Leo personality quite well. This doesn't mean that I am proud of the fact that my daughter has no more than a phone relationship with her father. I'm not suggesting that having seen him only three times in the last six years - the last time at three years old and remembered only in pictures - is ideal. What I'm saying is I can handle being Mommy and Daddy if that's what I have to do.

So, God, if this is what I am destined to do for the second time around, bring it on. I'll figure it out with two just like I did with one.

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