Sunday, September 19, 2010

A New Friend

Is it possible to call someone you've never really met IRL (in real life) a friend?  I think it is...

I have a new friend.  So new, in fact, that I've just bookmarked her webspace and blog (  Her name is Kristi and she's a lot like me in the social department: one of those ladies who found herself in a relationship until the mention of a baby left her completely single - - unless you consider that baby makes two. 

See there's no special math in my life (and baby makes three?)  though for a brief period two years ago, I thought there might be.  Oh, wait, if you count me and the kids, I guess there are three of us... but you know what I mean.

Anyway, she calls herself a SOAP (single only active parent), which is something I can totally relate to.  Chi has been all mine since day one.  I need consult no one about her daycare, schooling, clothing, healthcare, or anything - - her every well-being is my decision and my responsibility.  Of course, I've kept the line of communication open for her, and she can call her Dad whenever she feels the urge.  He's the phone father

Now Ya's dad and I are trying it a little different.  It's an evolving parental experiment (aren't all child raising efforts capable of being described as such?).  We're operating in parental partner mode, and thus far it seems to be working.

Oh, I bet you're wondering how my "friend" and I are alike?  Well, if I want to take a night off, it involves commandeering one of the grandparents for a sitter; carefully planning out how far I can get without arriving too late for a decent, respectful kid pick up; and being riddled with guilt for the entire evening of "escape" because I'm shirking on my mommy duties.  Being a 24-7 parent means just that - and regular outings without the kids make me feel like I've left something tremendously essential to my functioning behind.

And the issue with learning financial savvy?  Yeah, it's often called juggling around here.  You see, with daycare bills and baby essentials averaging between 1/4 and 1/2 of the take home salary, and housing expenses claiming the rest, it takes a pretty creative person to figure out where the funds for kid-extracurriculars, clothes, incidentals, and adventures is going to come from.  Stay-cation, anyone?  Trip to grandparents' house for diversifying our environment?  Nature walks, treasure hunts, and endless park trips?  Oh, yeah.

I'm always torn about whether I should admit that the extra $3 for this and $10 for that (that always seems to come home from school) adds up to a burden I'm sometimes unable to deal with save getting loans from my childless kid brothers.  I really don't want my child excluded from something the whole class is doing.

As for eating... I know how to stretch a buck on food - - let me tell you.  We stopped visiting the King and Mc, but we love a good buffet.  Ask me when the lunch price turns to dinner, because I guarantee I'm there 10 minutes before it does to benefit from the dinner food at the lunchtime prices.  As for grocery shopping, I'm a master at freezing the bought- it-on-sale meats (although occassionally the burn sets in and I can't identify something I just had to save). I shop in bulk for the must-haves, the dollar store covers the storage needs, and I can duck walk for the store brand bargains like a pro.  The 30 Minute Meal and Five Ingredient Recipes cookbooks *decorate* my kitchen counter. Oh, and I've got a few SAHM sites with great recipes and tips for cooking if I ever get time to try a few.

So, I'm excited that I've made a friend, and her Blog Frog community may bring a few more my way.  Maybe if I peruse her posts over coffee it'll feel like a girlfriend chat at Starbucks?  Maybe.

1 comment:

Gyspy Chk said...

Awwwwww I thought I'd stop by again and see what's going on with you lately, and was surprised to see me here!! Thanks so much for inviting me in Rachelle! It's nice to have a new friend!

I completely relate to your post. The guilt of going off and trying to have a good time, the money woes.

Drinking of cup of joe with you...Cheers! (pssst we need to find a virtual starbucks!)