Monday, August 23, 2010

Using lies as alibis...

One week is left before I return to my classroom full time... and I'm fully in summer mode.  I refuse to venture out of bed - even if I'm awake - before 8 a.m.  And because I'm staying late in bed, I'm up when all the adult shows are on (you know, at 10 pm?). 

I spent much of today convinced it was Tuesday.  This comes as quite a shock, as I spent all day yesterday lamenting about how Monday is the day everyone seems to rest.  Maybe that's an exaggeration...but that's how it's felt all summer long.  The breakfast buffet at our favorite summer time restaurant is closed.  The pool is closed.  The library is open, but can you keep a one-week-from-two-year-old quiet (or away from the water fountain that is just his height)?  I can't.

Amazingly, I remembered the correct date in time to get Chi into her Taekwondo Gi and load the kids into the car for her class.  She's gotten much better on her kicks and her attention in class - - but I think it might be draining her attention at home.
See, she's spent the entire summer weaving elaborate lies about every little activity and occurance she has had nothing to do with that has happened in the house.  I think the lies are unraveling.  She simply cannot remember what she's said about this or that, and so she spends a great deal of time trying to think up a quick excuse whenever I inquire about anything.  This is not a "need a moment, chew on this" Twix situation.  I really don't know what I'm supposed to do to eliminate the lies.  They're no longer little, they're certainly not white, and most often she tells them when she's obviously been caught red handed (or green paint covered, as the case may be).
8.14 (13)
If this is a growing stage or a phase, someone please let me know when it ends.  As much as I'd like to trust my kid, I can't anymore.  That's going to be a tremendous issue when something happens at school and she needs me to believe in her.  I want to be able to support her - to stand behind the word of my child,  but when she can't even admit to trying to make her own Kool Aid when the red powder is on her hands and on the kitchen counter and floor, how can I trust that something she confides in me about is honest?
8.14 (6)
My daughter doesn't remember the group Envogue, but I'm so tempted to throw on their song "Lies."
You know the one,
Lies, lies
Using lies as alibis
Lies, lies
Just a devil in disguise
I'll live my life a different way
Refuse to let myself become a vicitim
Getting caught in a vicious web of

So think before you speak 'cause what you sow, you reap
The truth will always be brought to light.
And as if this "Boy who cried wolf" syndrome weren't enough to deal with within our house, she's taken it outside. 
8.14 (5)
When we stayed with the 'in laws' (a misnomer, as I'm not married by law or otherwise, but it works), Chi touched one of the house's many displays.  Actually, she must have removed a statue or something and relocated it. 
8.14 (14)
Our hosts discovered the missing trinket in much the same way Annie Wilkes discovers her penguin is no longer facing the right direction on her table in Misery.  It was obvious Paul Sheldon had touched the beloved figurine and it was evident Chi had moved one.  And try as I might to defend my child, I'm the one who looked like a foolish enabler.
8.14 (7)
This is a new arena in my parenting and I don't think I was given the appropriate equipement to win this match.  Certainly chanting "liar, liar, pants on fire" isn't going to fix our dilema, so what praytell am I to do?

1 comment:

Jamie Willow said...

I would think a good place to start would be talking about it. And setting up some consequences that make her think twice. And when it goes outside the doors of your own home and you know it happens, making her apologize face to face to those she has lied to is probably a good idea. makes her take some personal responsibility for it and possibly taste a little humble pie.
I know when I was a kid and I lied. It was usually my way of trying to not be embarrassed about something...the lying seemed less painful...but after a few times of being "caught" I realized it was actually more awful to be caught than to just deal with the truth.

good luck mama! and hopefully others with more experience than I can give you some ideas on creative correction :)