10K Words... beginnings

A few years back I came up with a name for a photography business.  I knew I had "the eye," knew I'd taken many a decent photo during my tenure at UC Graduate School of Journalism.  I loved the smell of darkroom chemicals and the sense of power I felt each time I saw an image appear on what moments before was an insignificant piece of white paper.  I had even been awarded a Susan Mieselas Award for Excellence in Photojournalism in that past life of mine (pre-children) when I aspired to travel the world with National Geographic footing the bill.  I spent 30 days on assignment in Hong Kong capturing visuals for reporters' articles.   It was the closest I got to being a professional.  And then I graduated.

Seven months later, I welcomed Chi into the world and realized I'd need a job that was stable - - one that afforded me time to actively participate in her life. It's a decision I have never regretted, never doubted, and one that has allowed me to know what it means to live love.

Fast forward. Family expect me to bring my camera to every event (and often I spend more time "working" than I do enjoying like a normal guest). Friends enjoy the end result of my obsession when they are given a CD of images of their special function or their children.  And people who see me often - but in passing - think me odd; take Chi's gym teacher who asked "Why do you always have a camera?"  I stammered for a reply and mustered a pathetic, "I'm working on a project," but it was as though he asked me why I breathe.

I cannot fathom venturing far from the house without my camera.  Years from now I'll remember even the most minuscule moments because they're frozen in an image. I love capturing life on film... make that SD (I finally discarded the last few rolls of film and packed away my 35mm SLRs).  I drool over photography workshops, classes, and expeditions.  And I read anything I can about painting with light.

I have a dream... a passion...  a goal.  I'll get there.  My kids understand that Mommy is the "Nutty Photographer." They pretend not to mind the ever-present black eye.  Someday they'll be handing out my business card and announcing proudly, "My mom's a photographer.  10k Words Photography is her company.  You'll love her work."

Maybe it will be someday soon...

from a journal entry, 4.17.10