Thursday, October 16, 2008

Sleepless nights, Simple coos, Satisfying recognition

Where has the time gone?

I have just one week remaining in my maternity leave and I am not looking forward to the major adjustments necessary to return to work. It goes without saying that I don't want to lose any time with Yadon (7 weeks today!), and I enjoy the relaxed nature of mornings with Chi. Professionally, I dread the transition from substitute to permanent teacher, regaining control of my classroom space, and dealing with the backlash from quarter one disappointments.

Lately the miracle has lost its fabulousness. Houdini can escape from the blanket one arm at a time and then the psychotic screams he belts out are enough to wake the dead from eternal slumber. I still have twinges of guilt mumifying my kid just to get a few hours of sleep, but what am I to do? As much as I try to create a schedule, he does everything in his power to break it.

I think I'm creating a sumo wrestler. Chubchub eats whenever he can. All day and all night he eats. And I'm not talking quick five minute "nibbles." Chub can go twenty minutes at a time every two hours if I let him. Then let the hiccups hit and he expects me to feed them away. At night if he is co-sleeping (because the wrap didn't work and I just wanted a few hours of peace), Ya will crawl toward me and expect to eat. I've woken up more than once with him clawing at my shirt and bobble heading my chest.

Yesterday I was shocked to find that a 10 minute pump session produced 4.5 ounces of milk. If Ya is pulling the same results, he is averaging more than 9 ounces a feeding about eight times a day! He's not fat - yet - but the sallow cheeks, deep set eyes and itty bitty arms and legs have been replaced by pudge. At least I know he's well fed...

If he didn't spend so much time crying, I think Ya would be talking by now... instead we get the beginnings of a wail followed by a sigh-like 'aaahhh' or 'ahhh'. It's a rarity, though.

As for knowing his mama, Ya stirs at the sound of my voice in his [rare] times of sleep. He will turn his head to find me [especially when hungry] if someone else is holding him. He even has special expressions just for me. It's flattering. It would be even more so if I thought it was because he loved me and not because I'm a breathing, talking, moving milk bottle.

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