Over, Hold SWF '12:14,15

Missed Six Word Fridays last week and a few others here and there - a trend that is becoming somewhat habit as I adjust to being Mrs. The whirlwind of activity leading up to and following our nuptials has been cataclismic on my already weak organization. It ain't easy merging two households with two children each and two mature adults with quite a bit of life experience crammed into boxes. Don't tell Clean House, but we may soon be in the running for most-needed-intervention if I don't get it together soon.

Over (4.18.12)
It happened yesterday upon his waking:
He's so over being the baby.
He realized he was in charge.
No, really. He took complete control.
He whipped his head mockingly around,
Curled his lip like child-Elvis,
And admonished Mommy for being simple.
And, she's a "big meanie," too!
I mean why sweat the missing shoes?
"It's not like it's feet day."
It's picture day. Footware? Who cares?
Yeah.
That's the turning point of three.



Hold
Clinging to my last bit now.
Sanity slipping away quickly. Can't cope.
From two to four, now official.
Each with a single-minded determination
that doesn't match my dictated plans.
This one seeks adulthood-independence now.
That one wants privacy and space.
This one craves more attention, please?
And that one wants to leave.
I try to hold onto hope.
Life will create a new normal.
I ordered that parenting handbook.
The publisher review read like this:
Do it yourself and learn quickly
these kids need you to adapt
figure out what makes them thrive
and put together something all enjoy.
[Soon I'll get a hold again.]

SWF '12:13 - Return

Pack up the van, we're off
shake away stubborn, salty sand remains
bid farewell to shore's crashing waves
wave to swaying palms proudly planted
count your blessings for time away
return to routine and real life...

4-6-12

Six Word Fridays

Mine (a poem by the evil stepmother)

I admit it, I feared her
becoming the evil stepmother to two
who are not mine by birth
but are every bit a part
of our growing family, of him
(whom I love, and it transfers).
There have been setbacks and strides.
Moments when I've second guessed this...
tremendous responsibility of sharing my heart
with those who call another "mom."
Not wanting to take her place.
Not trying to steal her honor.
But hoping to add something extra
to this parental equation we've created.
I've faltered sometimes. Revealed many mistakes.
But I'm learning quickly they're mine.
Maybe not sons from their first,
but hereafter holding part of me.
My heart is opened yet again.

SWF'12:08 - Exposed

In a state of sheer panic
Worry’s grasp strangles thoughts and stifles
Suddenly the clarity of this path
Has become shrouded in the unknown
Walking gingerly, I plod along still
Barely able to see what’s next
The nebulous nature of this course
Has me caught up, momentarily frozen
Stripped bare of my usual mask,
My life, my emotions are revealed.
I’m not comfortable with the spectacle
That is my sweet, clandestine affair.
Counting down the days brings apprehension
(And she’s never been my friend).
Did I finish all the plans?
I desperately need my hakuna matata
And yet peace, he’s late coming.
Nefarious doubt has double teamed me –
Partnered with uncertainty, and I’m caught.
This fracas in my head unceasing
As I frantically list “to dos.”
When will I be all done?


***shared with Six Word Fridays (after a self-imposed haitus). The topic? Bare.

Stop & Go: SWF'12:03

Idling here for a moment's pause
I close my eyes to consider
"where am I going these days?"
An all too common question, yes.
And yet, I've still not concluded
on exactly what my destination is.
I've flubbubed quite a bit lately;
floundered with what should've run smooth.
The moment stretches as I contemplate.
Seconds tic away relentlessly without fail.
And yet... I need this reflection.
A chance to think, to evaluate.
But, perhaps, not particularly here...honk!

* inspired by Melissa Camara Wilkin's "Six Word Fridays"

Looking Forward - SWF '12:1

Delicately I begin brushing away cobwebs
Softly blowing the settled dust covering.
Brittle paper below years of neglect,
mementos of a forbidden love affair.

Once, knowledge of lustful infidelity crushed - -
child of twelve couldn't handle Truth.
He chose pursuits not his own,
and tore to shreds marriage vows.
She was created in these passions
(an innocent born of what's not).
Selfish, stubborn, and loyal I declined
to acknowledge what he laid claim.
At her breast, I buried myself;
opened her old wounds and hurt.
She, the betrayed, allowed me comfort - -
as only Mother could, head high.
He no longer stood above me,
his pedestal crumbled with my discovery.
Foolishly, I had expected his perfection.
His word was bond - became law.
My father, merely human, was humbled.

Years passed and she grew apart:
my sister unknown in childhood's choice.
Our children, cousins and strangers alike.
The withered tree of family struggling.
But now adults with our own
vows spoken before God and loves,
attempt to understand what once was.

The aged testaments shared by lovers
without regard for right become guide.
Burning the evidence cannot erase it.
Instead, I offer these romantic tokens
as proof she's love's own creation.
Perhaps he was conflicted back then?
We wont condone, but will forgive.
(Mother taught me that with strength.)

Looking to future instead of past,
we seek to fertilize and grow.
Restoring health to long ailing limbs
and accepting one another as part.

*inspired by "looking forward" from Six Word Fridays ; shared with Write on Edge.

Six Word Fridays: Focus

FOCUS: your ambitions are achievable. Dream.
Pursue with an intensity and commitment.
Watch the haze clear, clouds lift.
Pray. What is envisioned raise up.
It will be yours, He's heard.

*shared with SWF @ Melissa's net space :-)

Six Word Fridays... Make

Making it real

Visions of diamonds affixed to eternity
a vow on my finger, sincerely...
Someday, maybe, a public "I do"
already two hearts have committed to
love, respect, cherish, motivate, support, inspire - -
far more than other's carnal desires.
Searching has ceased, a match found
incredible this blending, a harmonious sound
(of two hearts, two voices combined
and two families sharing all time).
Is this what they meant before?
God gives comfort when asked for.
Answering prayers and building on dreams
(some of which still left unseen).
There's a certain contentment deep within - -
a feeling that forever now begins.

*Inspired by Six Word Friday's key word "make"...

Six Word Fridays: Savings

Been thinkin’ a lot about savings
How the coffer is empty now.
Like always, it seems, we’re overextended.
I’d love to be saving somethin’
for a rainy day… Heck, today!
But “money doesn’t grow on trees,”
And if it does, where’s mine?
Seems I forgot my planting seeds.
Can’t grow - can’t sow - without preparation.
I’ll save what there is abundant:
love; laughter; time (I’ll make it.)
We may not be wealthy folk,
But we’re so richly blessed still.
Covered our seedling hopes with prayer,
and watered them with faith.
In days to come, it’s ample.
(Our harvest? Bountiful .) Save all else –
We’ve got ambition to keep pushin.’
And that’s sometimes all we need.
[caption id="attachment_2821" align="aligncenter" width="700" caption="edited with KK's " Phoebe" texture"][/caption]
Inspired by Six Word Friday's "savings"

Six Word Fridays (Better)

Better
(working on something a little different than my usual... inspired by SWF)

I thought I knew how to
love – it seemed so easy once.
Simply allow myself to fall completely.
Surrender to someone else, assimilate. Vanish.
I did this (far too long).
Accepted fault for things not done;
Diminished flaws and ignored grave wrongs.
Now, I know. That wasn’t love.
I’d died many times for falsehoods,
would still be dead right now.
Because pretending to be – not being –
Is not living as I ought.
But then he found me. Broken.
(And taught me to repair myself.)
Love does not require letting go.
I’m better with him than without,
Been reintroduced to myself, I admit.
Encouraged to become so much more
than I’d allowed myself to try.
And through his acceptance came empowerment.

I feel his love surrounding. Supporting.
It’s something amazing to finally see
that with him, I become more … me.

Six Word Fridays: Sound

Sound Asleep
(for Laura and Yadon)

A still and peaceful quiet envelops.
Only the gentle rustle of sheets -
as you shift in slumber - sounds
An almost inaudible swish of fabric
Occasionally, there is more, interrupting silence
You mumble some passing thought aloud
Sometimes, it’s incoherent, this sporadic sound.
And other times, it’s sweet simplicity -
an inadvertent confession of your day –
makes me pause and smile then.
As I stand in the doorway
watching your body rise and fall
with each powerful breath, I’m content.
Because baby though you’re aged beyond
a point when you could easily
be cradle rocked in my arms,
I still am pressed into vigil
over what God has given me.

The inspiration word this week for Six Word Fridays is sound.

Six Word Fridays: Silence

A "psuedo-ku" in the tradition of Sonya Sanchez

Silence is banished, I've found Voice
and I shall Scream out louder
than ever before has been heard.

How goes your silence? Share with Six Word Fridays.

Six Word Fridays: Peace

Tentatively titled:in the Darkroom

Red Sun. Casting warning to others:
Enter and be my destructive force.
Inside, darkness engulfs the tiny space.
Always night. And yet, here, awakening .
With eager hands, I strip you.
Naked, you lay perfectly still, waiting.
Moonlight brief, mere seconds to show.
Faint image from negative captured below.
Tepid liquid taints the enclosed air.
A pool of creation awaits me.
I glide you inside, parting sea.
There, you wade (coy, attempting hiding)
I prod you, gently coaxing response
And, cautiously, you reveal yourself. Intense:
Crisp black against stark white sheet.
Magical is this moment of revelation –
I breathe in, satisfied. Eyes beholding.
Perfection before me, I hold you.
Tenderly, I lay you down again
Against soft sheets, you rest, spent.
In this darkroom, I've found peace…
Once white page becomes life exposed.
__________________
(and another)
tentatively titled: Cinematic Debut: "Peace of Heart"

Trepidation. A racing pulse pounds inside.
I open my mouth. Silence sounds.
I want to utter these words.
Tell you how much you mean –
To me, my kids, to us.
Your very presence brings heart’s peace.
No longer do I have worry
about love. I feel love abundantly.
You’ve made me the focal point,
the star in this romantic movie.
No longer a comedy or tragedy,
No “woe is me” lines scripted.
It’s really quite amazing to know.
I’m a fixture in this flick.
Extras cast aside, one woman show.
What’s my line again, great director?
I’ve got it now: “Love you.”




This week's Six Word Fridays inspiration word is "peace."

Six Word Fridays: WHY NOT

[caption id="attachment_2391" align="alignright" width="200" caption="the musician for my happy maddness that could be called dance"][/caption]
I click my heels three times
twirl around like a spinning top
arms raised high, so high
shake my behind like a rattle
twist my waist like wringing laundry
clap my hands and snap fingers
bounce and hop on interchanging feet
giggle, chuckle, chortle, snort, and laugh
nodding my head, tossing it back
enjoying this moment of complete abandon

Dignity? Be damned, I’m having fun.
And why? Why not? It’s time.

Linking up with Six Word Fridays ~ our word(s) this week: Why not?

Six word Fridays: how to?

He sits forlorne in the back
Uncomfortably shifting and wincing in pain
Silently, he bears full force anger
The wrath of father's failures attack
Pounding his ribs to reduce frustration
In that home once called sweet
He wonders if he should speak
Admit the truths of his wounds
Beyond his body, his soul suffering
Will those he confides in betray?
Told that pain was weakness revealed
And showing outward strength defines man
But the coward he calls father
Has lost that title in rage

No one else has spoken up
Each one fearing the same fury
School becomes the refuge; safe haven
He sits unfocused, pain consumes thoughts
Eyes glaze - tears forbidden their fall
Last week it was facial breakout
Before, a mishappen and overzealous workout
And now no explanation is fabricated...

Still, he sits wincing, and remembering
When parents gave hugs not hits
Missing safety, his childhood abruptly taken --
Becoming a man in vicious brutality
Defining himself by stoicly bucking up
Believing that father's striking is training
If he holds up, he's won
But what if it gets worse?
Silently suffering, he considers his options
He struggles, standing, surrenders to hurt...

How do we, his distant teachers
Draw him close, vow to protect
Provide him solace and restore trust?
We must alert the services too,
Confirming our suspicions and sounding alarm.

Seeking to help (in unfamiliar subject)
Did we inadvertently subject him to...

more?

shared with Six Word Fridays

Six Word Fridays: Picking the "pace"

You got this from where? Where?
New York City? That's no place.
No place for sleeping on dreams.
Pick up the pace. March on.
Reach for the skyscrapers, and further.
Touch the clouds while reaching higher.
Your pace just is not enough.
Prove you are determined. Race on.
We're not talking about secret sauce.
If you're hot, it's not picante.
It's sheer effort causing that heat.

(for my girl 'Kea)

shared with Six Word Fridays

Six Word Fridays: connect

Seeking anonymity, I devise a psuedonym.
Coding my identity in deep façade.
Each connection made while incognito, false.
Nothing meaningful when begun with lies.
Or is it secret shelter, protection?
Hiding this person to preserve her.
Fearing dangers lurking in electronic contacts.
Who might you be in reality?
Coding yourself in html fantastical fiction.
If we were to connect beyond
cyber situations, would we find commonality?
Or, would this online solidarity be
victim to disconnect when we log
off the line and into life?


{shared with Six Word Fridays}

Six Word Fridays: Move

Frenzied Movement

Just as the sun's light dims
They gather together and make plans:

"You, little one, start yours here
And you? Start there. We'll meet --
At some point in the middle.
Move quickly with your work, now
But mind your craft, precision counts."

They begin, then, moving swiftly along
Delicately placing their sticky strings behind
Pushing each exactly with confident legs
(loom masters must study their craftsmanship)
Moonlight shimmering, it catches them delightfully
Flurries of movement -- never ceasing work
Minutes expire, they push on still
Till finally, as sunlight replaces moon shine,
It is finished. Immaculate and immense
To catch the finest feast possible
An interweaving of webs for all.

[caption id="attachment_2231" align="aligncenter" width="560" caption="shot through a large glass window with dim interior light"][/caption]

{shared with Six Word Friday's @ MCW's}

How exactly does one teach a child?

How exactly does one teach a child
About death
When the body can handle
No more
Of the pains of the world
The sadness
The turbulence of living
How exactly does one teach a child
That Grandpa is in heaven
And no
He cannot be fixed
Except by God
Who has chosen to keep him
In paradise
The place he’s earned with his Father
A place we cannot visit
(and this means he can’t be with your father – who is terribly said)
And yes, we may cry because Grandpa is gone
But we are happy for him
How exactly does one teach a child
That life is exciting
And fun
That we cherish every moment spent
With family,
With Friends,
Even with strangers who pause to say “hello”
But sometimes
We get sick
And our bodies need to rest
(we don’t wake up from death)
How exactly does one teach a child
That memories keep men alive
That love keeps their spirits strong
That even those who have gone home - -
Not to Grandpa’s house, baby, to God’s - -
Are with us still
Always
How exactly does one teach a child?

9.8.2011

Six Word Fridays: Easy

Falling in love was so easy.

Simply opened my heart to you.

Stepped out on faith of feeling

and allowed emotions to guide me.

If allowed, it would've lasted forever

running on passion and primal connection.

 

But something happened, an intervention began.

Sneaking into my mind, slowly interrupting;

beginning like a tiny shoe pebble.

Walked upon, at first, hardly noticed,

but rubbing into sole - my soul -

and causing discontent. The mind wonders.

 

It's been too long lingering here

I long for something more concrete.

It's not enough to say it --

sweet sentiments to honey a moment.

Walk forward into our eternal knot

or untie this string hold now.

 

Endings never seem an easy start

even when it begins a new.

Can I fall up? Clinging to truth.

There's no ring to encircle us.

No declaration before powers invested in.

I did. I don't. I do.

Shared with Six Word Fridays hosted by Melissa Camara Wilkins.