The inadvertent war between these ‘parenting partners’ continues. It is, indeed, an epic saga marked by periods of peace and prosperity and poignant battles of little importance to the larger scheme of this child-rearing project.
It began with issues of tradition. My son’s once soft, curly locks soon shed from his infant head and left him with a baby Mohawk. I thought it was adorable. How could I not? Everything about my son is jaw-droppingly, sickening-sweet cute - - even his mean looking frowns with the downcast eyes and furrowed brow. I’m not biased, I speak truth : :wink:: The debate was whether or not we should trim the left over locks and give him a more modest, even do. I refused.
When he turned two, I was so devoted to his baby ‘fro that I was afraid to sheer much of it off. His
first cut, then, was a scissor trim that left a rather high, totally cool high top that suited Ya’s over-the-top personality.
Daddy M disliked it and the first chance he got, shaved it all. I received my son with a nearly-bald big boy sheer that I was not prepared to see and was predisposed to hate. I did.
The next cut was a necessity. In the midst of growing out his too-shorn hair, the school announced it was readying for school picture day. Uggh! Well, my child wasn’t going to be the one with the funky, unkempt hair, so I
had to have it cut again. I sent PopPop to the barber (any barber) with simple instructions: short sides, keep the top, but shape it. The cut was incredible. I loved it! Suddenly, I was okay with my little boy’s ‘big boy’ look.
Daddy M, however, was not. You don’t, apparently, under any circumstances, “edge up” a child’s hairline. Disgruntled, I inquired “And why? It looks well-groomed.”
The reply? Because it causes the hairline to recede; and, as a result of my awesome, well-received haircut, my son will be bald.
I retorted: Balding is a trait passed from Mama*. If you look at my grandfather Poppy, Ya is going to bald right across the top of his head and look much like an owl with hair along the edges.
I knew I was right. My brothers, still in their twenties, have been seeing their heads thin for some time. They’ve coped with short haircuts or shaved heads. We pretend not to notice the progression. And really, who cares if they are bald? Bald can be sexy.
I continued to get cuts, searching for barbers who could handle my son’s short patience. He’ll sit only so long before beginning to shake his head, twist to look in every direction - - except the one the guiding barber’s hand has tried to set, and will even slide so low on the barber’s chair that he can no longer be reached from behind the back of the seat (with the booster in place). A few times to appease Daddy M, I skipped the offered edge-up. Most times, however, the cut just didn’t look polished without it. So I let them finish the style with
lollipop bribes holding Ya impatiently in place.
Most recently, however, I decided to be a little frugal. I borrowed my brother’s clippers. I asked Ya if he minded Mommy cutting his hair. He said I could. I did.
[caption id="attachment_2662" align="alignleft" width="200" caption="Ya passing time in the vacant lot waiting for big sister to finish practice."]
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What resulted was what I consider a fantabulous Iro (aka frohawk) of über cute appeal. It suits my little star perfectly and he’s rocking it.
Daddy M’s reaction came by text shortly after he picked Ya up from school: “Looks bad. U do not cut hair.”
Now, I suppose, that when challenged on points relating to my parental judgment, I am a bit defensive. I live for my kids and would never purposely cause either harm. So what may have been a mere statement of hair preference initiated a textual onslaught.
Ya’s
Iro will, apparently, cause ignominious judgment to be cast upon him. (Though the term ignominy did not enter into his commentary.)
Is it wrong that I don’t care? He is, after all, only three. And this is not really a point of debate that will gravely affect our child's upbringing, or his future prospects.
It is important, I think, to note that I've looked up "receeding hairlines resulting from edging a child's hair" as well as "hereditary balding." Retired journalist faultered here and did not write down the resulting sites I consulted, but I found information. My father's hair is the best indicator of my son's adult hairline. And PopPop has an amazing head of hair that even now is pretty thick and resembles his boyhood hairline closely. If the resources presenting genetic research on hair trends and loss is correct, Ya has been blessed with some good hair genes and will enjoy his tresses well into a mature retirement age.
***
So every once in a while, we like to take a break from the sombre mood and enjoy a little clowning around. He's got jokes, she's got jokes. And Mama? Well, she's laughing at her two little clowns and feeling the atmosphere lighten to a much more bearable setting.
It's amazing what a little silly can do.
