Sunday, June 28, 2009

When it rains

I'm a bit moody this week... call it hormones, if you'd like, but I think it's much more. We're supposed to go to the pool today, but it's raining outside and looks dismal. Maybe I'm a weather-affect mood victim?

Last night moved into the morning hours before I could get the brain to slow down long enough to sleep.

Tangent: Did you know they play some really good movies after midnight? Last night I watched "Raising Helen" until 2:30a.m. I don't think I'd seen it before, but it was a great (tear jerker) movie.

Ya is giving me longer and longer nights, waking now usually around 7:30-8 a.m. and settling down again around 11 a.m. or noon. Chi is my roving sleeper, traveling with pillows and blankets in the wee hours between her bedroom, mine, and the kitchen nook futon (do you know how many attempts it took to spell that word right?). Last night, though, she was firmly settled with her newly lost tooth in the chest waiting for the Tooth Fairy to stop through and make the famous exchange. I don't think I ever mentioned it, but "Darkness Falls" came on the day Chi lost her first tooth... and I've been a bit spooked of the childhood gifters since I was a teenager (Easter Bunny, Reindeer, Fairies, other night visitors who are able to circumvent alarms and locks for clandestine visits while I sleep).

Anyway, back to the wandering brain matter. It's wedding month, and I've been thinking quite a bit about relationships and where I'm at in my life. My cousin just got married. My younger brother is engaged. My sorority sisters are all happily hitched (or moving quickly toward the altar). And then there's me: two kids, two dogs, house, car, job, alone. So the big Thirty is happening in August and this is the description moving me into decade four.
(I'm looking forward to thirty... every other year has been better than the last, so I expect the trend to continue) Do I need the ring on my finger to be complete? Nope. Besides, I worked at a jewelry store and sport a pretty nice rock that I picked out and purchased already ;) But I want the pictures.

I contemplated renting a wedding gown for an ultra fab bridal shoot... but after the necessary alterations, hair decor and the cost of flowers, it just might not be worth the cost. Nevertheless, I'm still browsing the occasional store and thinking about how to budget in a destination photo shoot of me in a pretty little gown with my kids in their bright colored dress up wear. A destination "wedding" without the "I Do" and the groom.

And I think this is why I couldn't sleep.

Thank goodness I have "phototherapy" in the form of MY Chi. Sometimes just following them around with my camera is enough to soothe any mood. And since they're on film, we get to look at our days together later and talk about them :)

1 comment:

Marla said...

You sound like a beautiful and loving woman. Step back and stop worrying about finding the perfect man and God will suddenly put him in your life.

That photo shot sounds fun though. :D