Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Lost and Found

So... Chi asked to play with the gift that keeps on living.  She hadn't had the rodent out in awhile, so I thought "sure, why not?" 

I received my answer quickly.  Four-year-olds, especially mine, are short minded.  They have millions of things to do and can't do everything at once.  So... she put the hamster on the floor.  I saw her do it the first time and warned that he runs fast.

Then I made the tragic mistake of leaving the room.  Yes, mommy needed a restroom break (darn kidney infection the cause, medication impairs judgment... but lets not talk about my health and doctors who practice but don't improve game performance).

I came back to Chi playing with a barbie... and she wasn't torturing the poor rodent with the doll, either. 

No.  The hamster was M.I.A.  He probably saw a chance at freedom when the enemy turned around and he skitted away to the nearest cover he could find - - under the couch.  When the enemy forces discovered his beady black eyes peering out at them, he sought escape again by running toward an unmonitored cave.  UNDER THE RATHER STATIONARY, LARGE, CORNER ENTERTAINMENT UNIT.  Who knew the thing had space underneath it?  Only Happy Hamster Pee Wee.


The enemy forces grew agitated, with the commander (that's me) bellowing for the search team to speed up the hunt.  I was not prepared to wait for a trail (of droppings...) nor was I willing to deal with the long suffering of our now-escaped captive (who would no doubt die if left out in our little abode too long). 

Commander threatened private.  If he dies, his ghost will haunt you.  That spurred action - - a fevered tantrum peaked with fear, a lot of stomping and a few trips up and down the hall in panic.  Good job, commander.

So...commander rendered private useless in the pursuit of escaped captive.  Commander finds stick.  Commander lays on floor next to TV stand.  Commander waves stick back and forth to sweep enemy out.  Enemy retreats to other side of TV, doubles back around and darts back into cave.  More sweeping of the hideout.  A few near captures.  Enemy proves elusive.  Commander rethinks strategy and devises new tactic: enticement.  The trap is set, the wait begins. 

Enemy has now been on a hunt for freedom for one hour.  Unlike Osama, however, his whereabouts were pinpointed quickly.  Commander hears a crunch.  Enemy has taken the bait.  Commander swoops in slow... she reaches and the enemy is recaptured.  Enemy is returned to prison.  All is well in the home front.

Private discovers returned prisoner.  Deems "divine intervention".  Claims personal victory in recapturing escapee.

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